Things I stopped doing to find my personal style
& the process I'm trying now
Like anything worth working on, personal style is a journey that may or may not have a destination. Arguably, we’ve all been spending our lives cultivating our personal style from the day we started dressing ourselves, but why is it that some people seem to just have such a strong and unique sense of style?
Despite being someone who has pretty much always enjoyed clothes and fashion, I’ve often struggled to feel like I have personal style (I wonder how many of us feel or have felt that way over the years?).
While I am still very much on this journey, there are a few things I’ve realized that when I STOPPED doing them, my concept of my own personal style really started to come together.
And quite honestly most of these were not things that I consciously decided to stop doing, but rather things that, upon reflection, were actually preventing me from feeling like I was on the right track.
Today’s newsletter is reflecting on some of the mistakes I’ve recognized that I was making along the way, as well as sharing the process I’ve been using lately to help me feel more connected to my own style.
1. LIMITING MY INSPIRATION
If there’s one thing on this list that actively prevented me from feeling good in my style, it was consuming fashion content that only featured very thin, primarily white women with very little in the way of curves.
It’s not about avoiding this type of content altogether but rather about expanding my perspective—seeking out inspiration from different body types, skin tones, and personal styles. The truth is, the more I diversified my sources of inspiration, the more I started connecting with different styles that felt more aligned with me.
It’s also about finding inspiration that goes beyond one specific niche - expanding beyond the biggest influencers and fashion bloggers out there really opened up my mind to different silhouettes and styles that resonated with me.
2. FIXATING ON SPECIFIC ITEMS OVER SILHOUETTES
How many of us have seen a pair of jeans on Instagram and immediately started hunting for that exact pair, thinking, if I buy these, will I look like that?
Well turns out, that’s not how it works.
The key is understanding silhouettes rather than obsessing over individual pieces. When an outfit I recreate doesn’t feel right, 90% of the time it’s because I got the shape wrong, not because I’m missing a specific brand or item.
One of my favourite creators on TikTok & Instagram demonstrated this perfectly in a recent video:
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Now, when I look at an outfit on Pinterest it's much easier to look past the colour of a sweater or a specific style pair of shoes, and instead focus on what is the shape of the outfit and what is the* vibe* I'm drawn to that I'd want to incorporate.
3. STAYING IN MY COMFORT ZONE
For a long time, I stuck to what felt “safe” or what I had been conditioned to believe was “right” for my body type - without even realizing it.
Things I used* to believe:
I need to define my waist otherwise I'll look "frumpy"
I'm too short to wear oversized clothing
Wide leg jeans make me look shorter (tbh I've heard this one both ways)
Balance oversized with slim (if baggy on top, go fitted on bottom and vice versa)
I’ve since realized that I feel best in outfits that have some kind of drama—whether it’s an oversized pant that almost overwhelms my frame (I’m 5’4”) or an XL sweater that drapes in just the right way. Since I gravitate toward neutrals, my drama doesn’t come from bold colours or prints; it comes from more subtle details like a wide leg pant, an oversized silhouette, or an edgy shoe.
*This is a process and I absolutely have days, moments, weeks where I struggle to let go of these things!
If an outfit feels a little too much at first, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s often a sign that I’m pushing my personal style in a direction that excites me.
I know the experiment is working when I leave the house in an outfit that scares me but makes me feel like a badass.
I've realized that trying something new can feel weird at first, but the more you get used to pushing yourself out of the familiar, the more comfortably you'll start to get with seeing yourself in a new way.
4. ONLY RECREATING OUTFITS VS CREATING NEW ONES
Recreating outfits from Pinterest or Instagram is a great way to learn styling principles. I actually believe this was incredibly helpful for me to start to practice putting outfits together and modifying them to feel more me. It's also an incredible way to practice using clothing creatively to achieve a specific look. But at some point, I started to wonder: What is MY style?
That’s when I knew it was time to stop copying and start creating.
Instead of asking, “How can I recreate this exact outfit?” I started asking, “What do I like about this outfit, and how can I incorporate those elements into something that feels like me?”
Don’t get me wrong - I still love recreating outfits, but I’m also learning to love creating new outfits which is helping me develop those skills.
5. NOT PHOTOGRAPHING MY OUTFITS
I get it—taking outfit photos can feel awkward, and at first, it triggered a lot of body image issues for me. But over time, it became one of the most transformational tools in developing my personal style.
Photos helped me recognize patterns—what I loved, what I didn’t, and what felt off. When I saw an outfit I thought I liked but didn’t feel great in, I could compare it to outfits that made me feel confident and pinpoint why.
Seriously - if you do nothing else, DO THIS.
WHAT I’M DOING NOW TO FIND MY STYLE
This has led me to an iterative cycle that I recently realized I’ve been subconsciously using to continue along this journey (because I'm certainly still on the journey!).
Consume Content Thoughtfully → Collect inspiration, but cast a wide net. Pay attention to what you’re drawn to—not just in fashion, but in aesthetics in general.
Recreate Outfits as a Learning Tool → Practice building styling skills, using this an opportunity to try new things.
Experiment and Document → Push your comfort zone, try new silhouettes, take outfit photos, and reflect on how things feel.
Refine Your Inspiration Sources → Once you identify what works for you, seek out more of that, and continue to fill your feeds with images that are true to YOU.
Iterate → It’s an ongoing cycle of experimenting, learning, and evolving.
At the end of the day, the outfits that have felt the most like me weren’t just recreations of something I saw online. They were the culmination of many sources of inspiration, personal experimentation, and a deeper understanding of what makes me feel confident all wrapped into something uniquely me. I guess that’s what personal style is after all!
Thank you for reading my random ramblings today and as always, please share anything you’ve learned along this journey so that we can all learn from each other! xx
Limiting my inspiration is a major one! I’ve all but stopped looking to Pinterest as it seems like the same 20 photos of the same woman with the same style and body keep cycling. I’m not on Instagram, but I’m trying to expand my sources of inspiration here and in the wild. Great article, Sienna!
I’m loving all your recent articles—pls keep them coming! All your reflections resonate ❤️