How I found personal style in 2024
Literally step-by-step how I did it - feel free to copy.
2024 was the year that I turned 35 and it was also the year that I discovered my personal style — or at least got a lot closer. Turns out that it’s actually not that complicated..but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard work. Let me explain.
From then to now
I’ve always loved dressing up. As a kid my parents used to tease me because I would sometimes make multiple outfit changes in a day. As a teenager I had a pretty distinct style which I could only characterize as…weird edgy. My grade 8 obsession with a blue and black stiped hand sock from Claire’s comes to mind…
As I got older I found I would sort of fluctuate between wanting to maintain a bit of that edgy, rock and roll vibe but also wanting to look a little more more polished and put together once I entered the working world. I used to view it as an “either/or” and not an “and”. Fast forward through a lot of life changes (finishing grad school, getting a job in tech, going through a major breakup, getting married, 2020…) and my approach to fashion was…random. I still loved buying things (oh how i loved it…) but it always felt like I was just buying random pieces that didn’t fit together. This led me to feeling pretty bad about myself, my body, my spending habits - maybe you can relate?
Shitty things I used to say to myself: “I’m not stylish, but I spend so much time and money on clothes“ or “I’m so irresponsible for not being able to control my spending”. Yeah, not fun.
I Needed a Change
I hit a breaking point. My relationship with fashion was making me feel terrible about myself. It wasn’t just the overbuying or the disorganized closet; it was the way I tied my self-worth to how I felt in my clothes on a given day: “If I’m skinny today, I’m stylish.”
On top of that, my body is changing, clothes weren’t fitting, which meant buying even more stuff. It was a cycle, and I needed out.
How to Turn Things Around
4 months ago, things started coming together for me. What kickstarted it? Random scrolling on TikTok (see? it can be productive!). But more seriously, I’m going to lay out for you all of the specific things that I’ve done over the last 4 months - feel free to copy/paste or adapt, but I promise you, this works.
1. The Allison Bornstein Method (or similar)
I truly credit Allison with starting this whole journey for me. If you’re totally and utterly lost with your personal style, please go to her TikTok and just start watching.
Two things that she does that I highly recommend:
Her “Three Word Method” was a game changer. (My words? Casual, polished, edgy.) Having this framework truly gave me clarity and helped me make better decisions about what to wear and buy. (I can write more about this method later if you want - I live by this).
Try her Closet Clearout method. While I didn’t follow the rules to a t (oops!) I did use a lot of the principles she talks about when thinking about how to organize my closet. One big takeaway - get those clothes that don’t fit OUT OF SIGHT! Why would you punish yourself by looking at them and feeling bad everyday??
While Allison’s method really started this whole thing for me, it’s certainly not where it ended. This was the thing that started the wheels turning, but everything else is how I put it into practice.
2. Immerse yourself in style (not shopping)
Think about this: how do you interact with your love of fashion?
For me, it was by shopping. Scrolling websites in the mornings before work, watching hauls on YouTube. While I still consider myself a pretty responsible person, I wasn’t spending beyond my means, but when I would look back and the amount that I spent vs how much I liked my closet - something wasn’t adding up.
One thing I had to do was stop scrolling and shopping aimlessly and started curating inspiration that actually resonated. Pinterest became my go-to for outfit ideas. Sustainable fashion, or creators who focus on styling your closet over shopping hauls will become your go-to sources of inspiration.
This also helped me to start recognizing things that were just “trendy” versus things that I actually love because they resonate with me and who I am.
Some other creators who I love because they teach me things and make me want to “shop my closet”:
Dacy Gillespie
Amy Smilovic of Tibi
3. Track your outfits every day
Sounds silly but do it. Everyday if you can. I use the app Indyx to literally track what I wear everyday. You’ll start to see what you gravitate towards, what you’re not wearing at all, and what you consistently feel is missing from your wardrobe.
It also tracks cost-per-wear on your clothing, and seeing that number go down is just - chef’s kiss - such a dopamine hit.
Below is a real screenshot from my Indyx last month:
4. Practice makes perfect(ish)
Let me be clear - finding my style and what felt good wasn’t an overnight thing. Like anything in life, it requires practice. Practice putting together outfits and really paying attention to what you love, what you hate, what feels off. If it feels off - why? If it feels good - why?
This takes time so I would actually plan out a lot of outfits I wanted to “try” on the weekends so that in the mornings getting dressed was a little easier. I even have a weekly set of google slides where I curate inspiration photos and plan what I’m wearing every week (yes I’m a bit of a nerd but I’ll share this with you all soon because I know there are other nerds like me out there).
Yes I include screenshots of the weather for the week when I’m planning.
How to practice:
try recreating Pinterest outfits (here’s a link to my Pinterest if you need some inspiration: https://pin.it/6IGONJ4aF)
styling pieces in your wardrobe you love but never wear
watch videos of creators putting outfits together - and analyze how you would adapt this to your style
trying things on, taking photos, and deciding what worked (and what didn’t).
gradually refining your wardrobe to reflect your three words.
5. Invest in hero pieces for your wardrobe
No I haven’t stopped buying clothes. But I’ve completely changed HOW I approach shopping. Some principles I use now:
Start a Wishlist. I just have a simple note on my phone where I list any items that I think would be a good addition to my wardrobe. And I DO NOT BUY THEM RIGHT AWAY. Coming back to the wishlist after month and assessing whether or not I still want that item can be very telling.
Buying clothes that fit the way I want them too - regardless of size. I still struggle with this, but we’re working on letting go of that number on the tag and focusing how it feels and looks.
Buying the thing I really want, not the 5 similar things that I don’t.
A few pieces I did purchase over the last 4 months that are everyday hero pieces for me now:
Black jeans that fit perfectly - adds edge
Doc Martens that will last me through many winters - adds edge
Real silver hoop earrings from Mejuri - adds elegance and polish
Each piece has added something meaningful to my wardrobe and made getting dressed easier, NOT more confusing.
The One Thing
The one word that I would use to sum it all up is: INTENTION.
I’ve started approaching my personal style, my outfits, my shopping - everything - with intention. This is truly the difference.
Good luck and please please please share where you are in your journey - even if you were me a year ago!
This all resonates so much!! I am a strong believer in ‘buy the thing you want’ after many, many disasters. I put everything on a wishlist as well and very often take things off when the excitement has died down!